What was your mom like at 40? How about your grandma at that age? Now compare yourself in your 40s to them - their dress, their lifestyles, their world in general. Everything about them is so last century.

And here you are, on a different journey - an independent, self-assured, single lesbian, out there with millions of other queer women, ready for that first date.

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Your New World of Dating

There was a TV ad for Oldsmobile. The famous slogan from that ad was, "This is not your father's Oldsmobile." Well, this is not your parents' dating world. A lot has changed in the last few years.

"Snail Mail" Dating

You know what snail mail is. Most of us have gone beyond this and take care of our banking, bills, etc. online. Why? It's fast, convenient, and everything is easy to track.

For some reason, many lesbians still think that they can look for queer women to date by getting out into their physical community and just finding a connection. So where would that be? The same old places with the same people. Lesbian dating like this is "snail mail" and the same queer folks always there.

Your parents' "Oldsmobile" doesn't work anymore. 21st century dating is online, like most everything else in your life.

Enter Internet Dating

Over 8000 online dating sites and about 400 million people dating this way - every gender and sexuality. Huge numbers are lesbians, and a huge number are over 40.

Why is Online Dating So Popular?

Here's the thing about firing up that browser and looking for platforms that support a human connecting with another human for a romantic and/or sexual relationship. Access a site, create a profile, find matches, message, send photos, respond, get answers - all on the same app.

  • It's like researching a product before buying it

  • It's like comparison shopping. You connect with a bunch of folks, compare compatibility, and choose who to respond to

  • You can "shop" anytime from anywhere with an internet connection a browser, and mobile device.

  • You don't get involved with other women or any other person 'til you know them. It does matter!

Internet Dating for Lesbians

Dating for lesbians shouldn't be all that different, right? Except for the fact that there are fewer of them than straight people.

Example. A straight guy sees a hot chick in a bar, uses a cool pickup line, and they make a connection. A lesbian human cannot see a hot chick and try a pickup line on her. She might respond by calling security.

If you are a lesbian wanting to date other lesbians, bisexuals, trans women, or non-binary online, your age doesn't matter. What matters is you have to go where other such humans are. Here are some options.

  • Social media platforms have matchmaking groups of queer people, including lesbians. Problem is, security measures don't monitor the site properly, and scammers and trolls are often at work. It's not like they have Ray ID verification.

  • There are a bunch of online chatrooms and forums for lesbians - a quick Google search will bring them up in a few seconds. And age isn't a factor here either. It's quite possible you'll find a connection or two with your posts, although security isn't anywhere near Ray ID verification either.

Most single lesbians today are hanging out on a lesbian dating app or two. Instead of searching social media platforms, forums, and chat rooms, search lesbian dating apps. In a few seconds, you will have hundreds of them - large, small, and in-between. Now you just have to kick in your browser, do some research, find lesbian dating sites for over 40 and find some matches.

The Right Dating App - Checking Out a Digital Dating Site Properly

There's a lot to check out in a dating app for the queer community and specifically one for lesbian women. You'll have to do some research to learn what a good app looks like. If you Google "lesbian dating app," you'll find more than you can handle.

A big issue with lesbian dating apps is that they feature a younger crowd, leaving over 40 lesbians without a genuine connection or finding a relationship. To review a site properly, you must check the age range of users they feature - you'll be ditching many of them that cater to a younger crowd.

Fortunately, we have done this work for you and found the best dating apps for queer women in your ballpark. You'll find a lesbian dating app or two that will be a good fit.

Lesbian dating apps - Taimi

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Taimi is #1. All-inclusive dating site for the whole queer community. 25+ million subscribers including a huge number of lesbians.

Unique feature of Taimi - high-tech matching system, using detailed profiles and preferences for closely aligned potential matches. As lesbians continue to use the site, Taimi tracks behaviors and keeps refining - perfect match for meaningful connections.

Older lesbians state their preferred age and location for matches that fit.

Another unique function - social media aspect. Queer women power up that browser, join groups with other women, chat, create posts, and connect for friendships, dating, or lesbian love. Fosters sense of community.

Pros

  • Most free functions compared to any other app

  • Games, contests, and events all year

  • Safe space with community standards

  • Good customer support

  • Members can go secret

Cons

  • No accessible website - apps on both app stores

  • Connections for a rural person may take longer

  • Verification successful waiting only by user option

 

Lovelens.net

Includes all genders and sexual orientations. Large membership from queer female community. Detailed questionnaire, for matching system to present others closely aligned with interests, type of relationship, and even politics and religion - dating better than many other lesbian dating sites.

Healthy number of lesbians, but full age range limits mature potentials. Good site for lesbians seeking more serious relationships in life - friends, companions, romantic relationships - Published success stories show effectiveness.

Pros

  • Inclusive space to connect according to detailed preferences

  • Free messaging and conversation

  • Detailed profiles

  • Site properly matches

Cons

  • More younger lesbians use the site

  • Premium membership only for advanced search and filtering function.

Julie-Goldman.com

Queer women (cis lesbian, bisexuals, trans women, and non-binary people) looking for a connection for any purpose julie goldman site properly fits. From casual dating to friends, to a long-term partner, members find what they want before that first date.

Members are queer females of all ages, as well as bisexuals and the bi-curious. Free accounts.

Advanced matching system; members opt for profile verification successful waiting period, usually a few seconds, to prove legitimacy to other users.

Pros

  • App sign up is quick and easy

  • All types of relationship preferences for connection

  • Paying members get more advanced matching

Cons

  • No video chatting

  • Free accounts restrict function use

  • Pricey unless opt for a full year

  • Large international user base but members looking nearby are limited

HER

Created by and for lesbians, bisexual females, and other queer women who are looking for committed relationships. Members join via their Facebook and Instagram accounts which act like ID verification. Verification successful waiting just a few seconds.

App is available through both app stores - free to download and register. About 1 million members, most from the US.

No search feature. Free version lets members filter by age and location, system will then present suitable matches for swiping. Mutual match and messaging begins.

App premium versions offer more features

Pros

  • Sign up and registration is fast/easy

  • Up to 6 photos can be uploaded

  • Free version allows messaging with mutual matches

Cons

  • Search filters only by age and location with free version

  • Community of younger members larger

  • Paid version a must for use of best features

Lesbian Personals

For females looking for casual hookups and dating, one of those perfect dating apps. Dating atmosphere is sexual, members state what they want. Users include single lesbian women, bisexual females, and lesbian couples unicorn hunting.

Fire up browser, join, create a profile, and submit for verification. Verification successful waiting period just a few seconds. Good security measure

Fire up browser, check entire platform and search for other females looking for the same. If one doesn't respond, move on. Use instant messenger including a webcam and live video. Join forums, groups, and chat rooms for more fun life.

 

Pros

  • Users aren't shy about what they want in their lesbian dating

  • Lots of searching and messaging - get answers.

  • Supportive community of groups to join

  • Quick connection to app is easy

Cons

  • Inactive premium members = monthly maintenance fee

  • Fake accounts and bad user behavior an issue, putting community at risk

It's Your Time

Kicking in your browser and putting yourself out there for digital dating is not scary. Just check out which site properly meets what you want. Check out the security, the free and premium functions, and get going.